And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
