No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
