Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
