found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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