I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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