We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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