Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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