I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
