he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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