This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
