Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
