I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize