she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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