Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
