yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
