Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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