summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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