If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
