she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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