you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
