Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
