Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
