We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
