party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize