everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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