there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
