i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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