end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
