I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
