You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
