Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
