It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
