Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
