Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
