Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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