Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
