i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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