Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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