dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
