So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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