you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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