I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize