Dual....:-)
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
