Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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