I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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