If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
