just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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