someone owes me an orgasm
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
