I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
