In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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