i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
