Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
