Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
