Nicole vs. Life
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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