Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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