I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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