how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
