Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
