we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
