don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
