Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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