I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
