her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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