So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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