She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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